It’s almost too exhausting if you think about it—not to mention ironic—because, in fact, you have gazillions of thoughts running through your head at any one moment. Life is happening fast. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, out of touch, or a general disconnect, I have the perfect way for you to remember that you are part of the whole and truly cared for.

It’s a nugget of insight that stuck with me over the process of intentional journaling. I’ve initiated the new mini habit to spend a few quiet minutes each morning, letting thoughts flow from my mind and onto the page. The first thoughts are usually trivial ones of worry and things I want to do. These ideas just leak out onto the paper in scribbles from my pen so I can release them.

From there, I can manage to re-shift my thoughts, which can even turn into a realization—and sometimes, it’s an interesting one. I was reviewing the topics I’d written down the other day, and realized these are thoughts on my mind a lot. They swirl in the background much of the time. The mere fact they’re there often leads to an undercurrent of stress, that burning sensation that I’m treading emotional water on an ever-present level.

When I saw this trail of worry and recalled that feeling, I felt the resounding thud as I realized that I’d rather spend more time feeling optimism, but my brain is on an autopilot mulling over things I can’t control. It came to me that I wanted to focus more on the kindnesses in my life—those good deeds and thoughts I’ve received from others—to remind myself there are caring people around me.

Gotta love lists, right? There’s something so satisfying and illuminating in seeing a tally in front of you—the things you want to do, the pros and cons of a decision, or the aspirations you have for your future. I decided that a list of kindnesses I’ve experienced would be great fuel for shifting my mental habit from worry to wonder.

THE KINDNESSES WE RECEIVE

I began writing a list of moments of kindness I could easily recall from the past, but the exercise quickly became an obstacle to the purpose. I wasn’t writing these acts in a particular order, and as I began to consider one and then another, I got caught up in the fact that my list didn’t reflect the value of the varying kindnesses on the list. Yes, I know this was silly.  

It was probably about that time I got sidetracked to create a hierarchy of kindnesses. My list veered to the aspects of life for which I’m grateful, which is related, but different. This really detoured the point and theme of the list in the first place.

Of course, in reflecting on the kindnesses I’ve experienced, naturally I feel grateful. In fact, recognizing that gratitude was a bonus from creating the original list, but the intent was to identify and record specific instances of kindness I’ve received.

At that point, I thought about how grateful I am for all the kindnesses of the past, but we are always changing, and I’m also working on tending to the person I aspire to be today and tomorrow. I decided to just focus on the kindnesses of the past week as a great starting point. This turned out to be a great strategy, because that past week was notable for a couple of lovely acts of kindness in particular.

First, I recently visited with Brittney Haskins of One Sweet Kitchen for a podcast interview. You can find that here. We had a delightful chat and I was grateful for the generosity of her time. A few days later, I received a text telling me there was a treat waiting for me on my front stair.

Sure enough, on the stair as dusk settled on the evening, I found a white box waiting with a dozen beautiful daisy sugar cookies peeking out from the bakery box window. It was a thrill, one of those moments that sparks joy and even humility. The cookies were fabulous for sure, but it was the gesture and the way it was done that was particularly delightful.

A few days later, another token came in the mail from Christi Hegstad. She jotted down words of praise on an inspirational notecard which she sent to me. I was part of one of her book groups a few years ago, and since then she makes it a point to send periodic notes of encouragement, which are appreciated.

As I considered these, other examples came to mind, which I would have completely forgotten without this exercise. There was the person who offered to let me ahead of him in the checkout line, the cashier who gave sticker mustaches to my grandchildren, and the invitation to a party.

So many of these occur, and each represents the gift of someone’s time and thought. Of course, I appreciate them all at the time, but I don’t remain mindful of them as part of my life experience. By creating a list of kindnesses and adding to it, I quickly noted I felt lighter and more energy about going forward into the  world.

INSPIRED BY KINDNESS

So, there it is, something so simple yet powerful enough to improve your attitude and outlook. Our brains are designed to focus in on the dangers and the bad stuff, but by generating and keeping a list of kindnesses (those specific good deeds and words), you can help change your point of view.

Interestingly, as I noted the kindness in my life, I felt kinder and wanted to share that with others. I let someone ahead of me in the checkout line, thanked the cashier the next time I saw her and sent a letter gushing with gratitude after the party I attended.

I recommend pulling out your journal—your tool to helping you be your best friend—and start a list. Give it a title and a page number and invite yourself to add to it at a quiet moment each day. And please let me extend to you this kindness, you deserve to feel energized and ready to begin being who you want to be.

Sherry is the founder of Storied Gifts a personal publishing service of family and company histories. She and her team help clients curate and craft their stories into books. When not writing or interviewing, Sherry spends loads of time with her grandchildren and lives in Des Moines, Iowa.

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The shop is a mother and daughter venture for Sherry and Alexandra Borzo of Content In Motion. They both work to help their client's stories sing. The shop is there effort to inspire a focus on healthy minds for everyone through positive thought.

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