When Did You First Realize You Are Aging?
A prompt card from the game Tell Me Another
I’ve been playing Tell Me Another for Demo Nights over at Arkham Games in Ankeny, Iowa the last couple of Tuesdays, while also enjoying time with the game group that regularly meets there each week. The game play has been such fun that I thought I’d share one of its more popular story prompts here with you.
Let me just randomly (ahem) select this card from the Tell Me Another deck…It asks, “When did you first realize you’re aging?” That’s a pretty easy question, because there was an exemplary moment for me just last week.
So, “let me tell you the one about how I realized I was aging.”
I was at a local Quick Trip making my way into the store through the familiar swinging glass doors. At that same moment, a man who looked to be about my age was ushering in behind me and said something about offering to open the door. I was ahead of him, so I opened the door and held it for him instead.
We were waiting to step up to the counter when he became immediately chatty. I idly noticed he was wearing clean dark blue overalls with a nice, leather jacket over top. His comments were benign at first, and I barely noticed what he was saying until he mentioned “booty,” and in particular, mine.
He was saying something about it, sort of mumbling, but audible enough that I didn’t register the comments at first—but then realized he was saying something about how I need not worry because my booty was as nice as some other woman’s booty who happened to be in the store as well.
I processed a response so quickly I didn’t have time to consciously catch up with what I said next, which was, “Thank you for objectifying me. Now, why don’t you let me have a look at your booty?” He paused for a moment as if he was going to comply and then veered off down an aisle in the shop. I was prepared to chase after him and persist, but it was my turn at the counter, and I completed my transaction and moved on.
I walked out feeling vindicated and even powerful. I was pumped from having said exactly the right thing in the moment, positively strutting with the assurance that comes from feeling fearless. The young woman I once was would have struggled, maybe even backed away intimidated, but not the elder woman of confidence who I am today.
I thought about it later—how this guy might not have the social skills to know what was or wasn’t appropriate—but then I stopped going down that rabbit hole of doubt. We live in times where the message has got to be loud and clear to males who are out of bounds to step back and stop trying to wield their “whatever” over women.
There is NOTHING flattering intended in these situations. IT’S ALL ABOUT POWER.
As for me, I was in my morning glory of messy bedhead and frumpy clothes and felt way too old to put up with any nonsense.
So, there is the moment I felt I was aging, and felt awesome about it.
THAT OLDER PERSON
Just to make the point about perspective and aging, I’ve belabored the fact that I’m aging from the time I was in my mid-30s. Of course, it was true then, but now that I’m nearing 60 I realize how young I was in my 30s by comparison.
I’ve always been intrigued and interested in the prospect of aging. Even as a younger person I had a somewhat romantic notion of people who were older. I assumed they were imbued with wisdom and had the shackles of fear removed after having managed to achieve many of life’s milestones.
I’ve since revamped my thinking a smidge (turns out the wisdom part is an ongoing process), and ironically because I have aged. I now recognize that, although there are perks, there are challenges to aging, too. I still find aging interesting and even an adventure, but these days I’m focused on health and quality of life aspects that are more concerning than I had imagined.
BE YOUR BEST OLD
If you’ve ever looked at old photos and gazed on the faces of people similar in age to you and thought, “Those people look older than me,” it’s a perfect example of the disassociation we have with our sense of age.
Over at BBC Future, the article “The Age You Feel Means More Than Your Actual Birthdate” by David Robson references studies focused on deciphering the meaning of this gap between perceived and chronological age, and how it can impact both physical and psychological health.
Robson notes that studies revealed that those respondents identifying with subjective ages younger than their real age enjoy a greater sense of wellbeing, along with less depression and more resilience to societal ageism. These studies suggest a correlation between quality of life with perceived age predictive for future health.
It’s the point of societal ageism that caught my attention. We live in a culture that does not value aging and all the benefits that come with it. But the culture continues to shift, and so do attitudes. By 2030, the boomers will be 65 or older, and 1 in 5 Americans will be of retirement age. The population shift has already adjusted public attitude since the last generation, and will likely continue to impact generational opinions of aging in the future.
TELL ME ANOTHER—MORE!
This question opened up to a bigger topic, but it could have easily been a short story told around playing the game of Tell Me Another. I learned some interesting things about the game and was ultimately thrilled to play it with the regulars over at Arkham. If you live in Ankeny, you can pick up a copy of the game there or check it out here on our shop.
Alexandra and Sherry, 2016
Sherry is the founder of Storied Gifts a personal publishing service of family and company histories. She and her team help clients curate and craft their stories into books. When not writing or interviewing, Sherry spends loads of time with her grandchildren and lives in Des Moines, Iowa.
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