How To Find Your Peace of Mind

How to Find Your Peace of Mind

Photo by fotografierende on Unsplash

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You know that moment when you experience that wave of relief? For example, when you misplace your phone or wallet, and then all of the sudden it appears.

This week, we dive into that sense of calm but on a bigger scale. This is the kind of clarity you feel once you are fully informed and have a plan around something that, previously, was causing you strife. When those two parts—the information and the action—align, you feel strong and ready to deal with whatever challenge is in front of you.

Stop and think. When a friend cries or goes of on a rant, you instinctively know to comfort them. Yet, while you see that red alert sign in others, when it’s you in panic mode you rarely stop to think about providing yourself comfort.

In this post, we’ll explore how to harness that strength more fluidly whenever you feel overwhelmed. We’ll explore ways to attain comfort you so you can transition from frantic to focused that much faster.

IDENTIFY THE FRICTION AND THEN HIT “RESTORE”

I discussed how to get from panic to peace with my daughter-gone-brainstorm-buddy Alexandra. We both acknowledged recent episodes when we were out of sorts, and it took a bit of time to recover.

For me, it was a few days ago when I was in a lingering grump. I slumped into a day of binge-watching and ate more stuff and didn’t move much. I knew I was low, and since I didn’t make any move to shift out of it, the feeling lasted the entire day.

About the same time, Alexandra had a day when she got hammered with client communication overload while already facing a full schedule of work. It got to her. She had her emotional outburst about it and then powered through because that is what she does when she’s stressed.

We each reviewed these episodes of struggle and noted a couple of things:

1.       Even while feeling bad, we both knew it was temporary. Recognizing that feelings are fleeting helps keep perspective.

2.       Feeling stressed and low is inevitable, but identifying our power to change the feeling is a source of comfort.

Just the thought of peace of mind seems better than striving for something as fickle as “happiness,” because it is sounds steady, calm, and confident. It’s about balance and being in sync with your world no matter the circumstances. Realize you are enough.

So, what is the best way to switch from panic to peace?

By tapping into comfort, (not the binge-watching overeating kind, but comforts that are healthy and helpful) you can re-shift in moments of emotional stress. Here are a couple of ways to give yourself comfort so you can feel calmer faster.

NARROW YOUR FOCUS

My thoughts go everywhere as I work. Even as I write this post, I’ll stop to check my social media or search some topic on the internet. Sometimes (hehem, often) when I go on a tangent for something, I’ll make the transition only to forget why I went “there” in the first place. And in that process of mind everywhere, the place I’m really at is stressed.

When we multi-task, we cave to the hungry tiger of anxiety that can never be satisfied no matter how much we feed it. To focus deliberately on what’s in front of us is a comfort for the brain—literally the antithesis of anxiety. Channeling your thoughts and actions to the task at hand will send the tiger away to skulk in the dark.

Over at Live Purposefully Now, in the article “How To Be Calm and Peaceful Under Difficult Circumstances,” Cephas Tope describes this alternative to scattered to focus as being in “flow.” When someone is entirely engaged in the task in front of them, they don’t notice time pass.

To comfort you, channel your attention to one thing at a time within your capacity to address.

“Those who flow as life flows know they need no other force.” Lao Tzu

DO WHAT YOU CAN

It’s easy to feel overwhelmed and frustrated by all the things we can’t control. My immediate response is to fight (in the form of fuming and posting on social media) against those things. I waste my energy, express my opinions in an unsolicited way, and generally get more stressed after trying to change things I can’t.

Recognize the difference between meaningful action and futile exertion. When you expend energy on the things outside your control, you miss the opportunity to make a difference where it counts. Give yourself the comfort of a “refresh” as you direct your attention to what is within your control to act on and impact.

Over at PsychCentral, Margarita Tartakovsky, MS found it therapeutic to list those things she could control, and she came up with 75 strong areas of action.

When we feel we are spinning into the abyss of the unknown, making the effort to hone in on how to harness our strength can be transforming. We can go from feeling powerless to feeling powerful.

At the top of Tartakovsky’s list is “How I talk to myself.”

That idea resonated. When was the last time you spoke kindness to yourself?

I once heard that for every negative message we take in, we need approximately five positives to counter it. How can we give kindness to others if we don’t honor ourselves with it first? One of the first things you can do is give yourself the gift of kind words.

WHEN FRAZZLED, TAKE A MOMENT TO COMFORT YOURSELF

By addressing your need for comfort, in positive and healthy ways, you can build up your resilience. Both Alexandra and I recovered from our lows, but I’d like to think with the right tools we could have gotten to feeling calm faster.

As Alanis Morissette says, “all I really want is some patience/ a way to calm the angry voice/ and all I really want is deliverance.” Yes, Alanis. I concur. Finding flow in life is worth so much.

JOURNAL PROMPT

Create your own lists of things within your control. In moments of stress refer to the list and focus on those places where you can take small actions.

Postscript: One comfort is a clean space. If you need help getting going on organizing your home check out Get Organized Gal’s courses for support.

I used her course to organize my office, and it is in pretty good shape these days. Success in one space has lead to cleaning channels to other rooms and photos as well. Check out he courses here.

Sherry and Alexandra Borzo together in Lima, Peru

Sherry is the founder of Storied Gifts a personal publishing service of family and company histories. She and her team help clients curate and craft their stories into books. When not writing or interviewing, Sherry spends loads of time with her grandchildren and lives in Des Moines, Iowa.

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The shop is a mother and daughter venture for Sherry and Alexandra Borzo of Content In Motion. They both work to help their client's stories sing. The shop is their effort to inspire a focus on healthy minds for everyone through positive thought.

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