Disclosure: There are some affiliate links below, and I may receive commissions for purchase made through the links in the post. However, these are products I highly recommend. I won’t list anything I haven’t tried and found personally useful.

Why do you want what you want? You say you want more money, a particular job, a changed body, or a better relationship, but if you get any of these—then what? To strive and plan for the future is an important part of being human, but if you don’t reach the goal, or even if you do and still feel wanting, it might be that you’re not content with something else.

Feeling that general state of discontentment is not something you suffer alone. Most of us struggle with boredom and disinterest in the lives we lead. In fact, that’s why we are always either focusing on the future or lamenting something we lost in the past. The idea of a practice of contentment, in contrast, is to stop and be mindful of what you have now to bring balance to your thoughts.  

So, in the self-improvement genre, what is contentment and where does it fit in to helping you grow? Contentment is the non-judgmental recognition of the life you’re in at this moment. In a state of contentment, you neither designate your circumstances as good or bad, but simply as they are. The purpose of contentment is to make peace with your individual journey. A practice of contentment is foundational for a healthy mind, which in turn is the gateway to healthy actions and choices and the growth that comes from it.

Why do you want what you want? You say you want more money, a particular job, a changed body, or a better relationship, but if you get any of these—then what? To strive and plan for the future is an important part of being human, but if you don’t reach the goal, or even if you do and still feel wanting, it might be that you’re not content with something else.

Feeling that general state of discontentment is not something you suffer alone. Most of us struggle with boredom and disinterest in the lives we lead. In fact, that’s why we are always either focusing on the future or lamenting something we lost in the past. The idea of a practice of contentment, in contrast, is to stop and be mindful of what you have now to bring balance to your thoughts.  

So, in the self-improvement genre, what is contentment and where does it fit in to helping you grow? Contentment is the non-judgmental recognition of the life you’re in at this moment. In a state of contentment, you neither designate your circumstances as good or bad, but simply as they are. The purpose of contentment is to make peace with your individual journey. A practice of contentment is foundational for a healthy mind, which in turn is the gateway to healthy actions and choices and the growth that comes from it.

HOW CONTENTMENT AND IMPROVEMENT GO HAND-IN-HAND

Do you question whether you can be both content and still actively working to improve? I talked about this idea with my daughter and best friend Alexandra, and we compared our differing experiences. She is an avid runner, a business owner, and person who has learned to speak a second language who also lives abroad. Presently the wind is at her back, but she has worked hard to make it so. She sees dissatisfaction as a catalyst, the fire required in her belly to take action.

At nearly 60, I’ve done just fine, but have also settled into some habits and thoughts that I’d like to change. I experience more periods of dissatisfaction than I’d like. There is nothing horrible at all going on, but I feel stuck in complacency and dissatisfied because it is an easier habit of thought than making a change.

If you can relate, just know that our brains are wired to dwell on the negative. Over at The Blissful Mind, Catherine Beard references this phenomenon as the “negativity bias.” It’s a primal way of assuring we take care of issues that might cause us danger.

But primal brain be damned, I want to feel better! You’d probably like to as well. If you want to stop pressing your nose to the glass thinking everyone else has a better life, then let’s focus in on contentment and how to feel it more often. We’ll dive into a couple of small ways to give your thoughts a swift kick in the pants to dislodge the contentment that is just waiting for you.

GRATITUDE YOUR WAY TO CONTENTMENT

Hopefully you’ve decided you would like to feel better, too, and going for contentment seems like a reasonable step. Know it will take some practice. Starting with a sense of gratitude will help you feel more contentment. If the mention of “gratitude” causes you to groan, it’s because everyone everywhere is touting it. Maybe you’ve tried the gratitude journals, or written the gratitude lists, and after a while you fall off the grateful bandwagon.

Just remember, our brains aren’t built to feel contentment or to look at positives in life. You must march up the hill against the wind in your thinking. If you need fresh ideas to bring gratitude into daily life, check out these creative suggestions over at Life Hack where Ciara Conlan lists 40 ways to sneak in gratitude so that your brain doesn’t even know what hit it!

I encourage you to try Conlan’s ideas, but I also suggest you try and try again on the gratitude lists, too. There is something powerful about writing the word “grateful” and thinking on what you are thankful for. Make it a 2-minute goal each day, a mini habit, and see if you can make it stick.

THE TINY GRATEFUL EXERCISE

Now, if you could pull out your imaginary microscope, I’m going to suggest a strange and somewhat unorthodox way to grasp at gratitude on a smaller scale. The idea is more meditative and falls in the realm of practicing mindfulness, but I found it has helped me feel more at peace recently.

It goes like this: Take a few minutes each day to simply slow down, almost as if you’re a turtle, and notice what you see, feel, and hear in those slow-motion moments.

If you’re not afraid of the water, liken it to moving as if you’re completely submerged. And while in this slow state, note everything; how things feel at your touch, how your limbs respond as you move, how you breathe in and out, and maybe one more deeper breath as you become aware of your breathing.

And, most importantly, tell yourself you are grateful—or interested or curious—about what you are experiencing. It’s your few minutes of pep talk. You say, “Huh, that’s very interesting. My life is filled with these interesting bits of experience.” Or, you say something like that—however it feels right for you.

At the same time that you’re aware and moving in slow motion, pretend to see yourself from above when you experience these moments. You really are the star of your movie. The soundtrack and the bits of movement are all framed by the camera of your perspective.

That’s it. See. Hear. Touch. No list or writing of any kind required. But if you do want to write about what those moments of hyperawareness feel like, consider it a great journal prompt.

CONTENTMENT, A VERY FIRST STEP TO GROWTH

If you take into account that your brain is out to sabotage your contentment, it feels like a bit of betrayal. But in a state of contentment, even the adversity is weighed in as just part of the experience of being human. No stress. Just move on and note what is and note all those moments of life. The idea is that what you practice in small bursts will spill over into growth and feeling better generally. That is the point!

As humans, it is so easy to lose sight of what we have and to take it for granted. Our senses are dulled to the sparkle of our existence. Mel Robbins mentions a significant statistic in her Tedx Talk, “How To Stop Screwing Yourself.” She explains that you being you with the parents and DNA you possess come from a 1-in-4 trillion chance of occurring. Maybe, given the odds, you can make room for feeling more contentment?

Cultivating contentment regularly can help assure that no matter how life evolves, successes and failures alike will click into place and you’ll have more energy and more of an appreciation of your experience.

photo credits

Photo by Dan Gold on Unsplash

Photo by Courtney Hedger on Unsplash

Photo by Lesly Juarez on Unsplash

Postscript: One comfort is a clean space. If you need help getting going on organizing your home check out Get Organized Gal’s courses for support.

I used her course to organize my office, and it is in pretty good shape these days. Success in one space has lead to cleaning channels to other rooms and photos as well. Check out he courses here.

Sherry is the founder of Storied Gifts a personal publishing service of family and company histories. She and her team help clients curate and craft their stories into books. When not writing or interviewing, Sherry spends loads of time with her grandchildren and lives in Des Moines, Iowa.

STORIED GIFTS SHOP

Need a beautiful infusion of inspiration for your storied life? Please check out the Storied Gifts Shop where we offer Wearable Wisdom & Daily Inspirations.

The shop is a mother and daughter venture for Sherry and Alexandra Borzo of Content In Motion. They both work to help their client's stories sing. The shop is their effort to inspire a focus on healthy minds for everyone through positive thought.

LET’S BE FRIENDS

Please like the Storied Gifts Facebook page. We offer tips and inspirations to help you tell your stories and live a storied life by harnessing your healthy mind through the power of the thoughts you choose.