Make A Difference For One, The Lessons of Etta Angell Wheeler

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Months ago the #reallivesbookclub read “Out Of The Darkness” by Eric A. Shelman and Stephen Lazoritz, M.D. which details the story of a child named Mary Ellen Wilson who was the victim of abuse during the Mid-1800s in the United States. Her situation—along with the commitment of Etta Angell Wheeler to step in and save her—eventually led to the creation of the Child Protection Movement.

Born in 1864, Mary Ellen was living in an orphanage until about two years old when a couple was illegally permitted to adopt her. The child’s misfortune escalated from there when, soon after, she was under the control of a woman who beat her constantly until she was 10.

Etta Angell Wheeler was a missionary who regularly visited with people in the housing projects in this area of New York known as Hell’s Kitchen. She provided meals and companionship to the sick and advocated for the poor through her work.

Etta learned about Mary Ellen while visiting with a parishioner in the projects. First, she made it a point to discern the condition of the situation, and then once Etta realized Mary Ellen was being abused she worked diligently to see the child saved.

Her efforts eventually led her to meet and ultimately collaborate with Henry Bergh, who was the founder of the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. Children did not have any true or consistent legal protections at this time, so together they secured information and a strategy based on arguing that a child deserved not to suffer.

ETTA’S COMMITMENT TO ONE CHILD

You can get a quick overview of Mary Ellen’s story here or read the book yourself. It is a sad story, and I was resistant to read it because I didn’t want to have to delve into pages of Mary Ellen’s experience of constant suffering. The only way I managed to get through it was knowing that her circumstances take a positive turn at the end.

As a reader, it seems alarming by 21st-century standards to fathom that children’s rights were not legally recognized from one state to another in the U.S. But, of course, as shocking as Mary Ellen’s nightmare is to us now, we know that children still remain in peril today due to poverty, continued abuse and trafficking here and around the world.

As difficult as the details of Mary Ellen’s suffering were to read, I was drawn to Etta who helped save Mary Ellen’s life. Etta worked as a missionary for St. Luke’s Mission of the Poor. She made it her life’s work to serve others. She and her husband Charles Wheeler even decided not to have children because they felt there were already so many children suffering and in need.

Etta saw firsthand that poverty was the shared reality for so many people living in compressed squalor in New York City’s ghettos, and she did what she could to help alleviate misery on a one-to-one bases with her visits.

Once Etta learned of Mary Ellen’s situation, she was determined to help.  Etta worked diligently to secure witnesses and worked with Mr. Bergh who assisted as a citizen to have Mary Ellen taken out of the abusive conditions.

After Mary Ellen was removed, the judge immediately wanted to place her in an orphanage. Again, Etta advocated for Mary Ellen, and she was then released to live with Etta’s mother. Unfortunately, Etta’s mother died, and so Mary Ellen was placed with Etta’s sister and husband who cared for her until she was an adult.

Etta’s commitment was bold for this time because woman had little power and few rights (the same as children). As a woman, her ability to sway influence would have been difficult. The fact that she stood up anyway and advocated for Mary Ellen—and probably did so at some personal risk—was inspirational.

WHAT IS YOUR ONE COMMITMENT?

We live in times when the news is overwhelming and determining where we can make a positive impact seems daunting. Faced with so many places that need our support, it sometimes seems easier to do nothing. After all, how can one person make any difference? And with the demands of your personal life on top of that, it might feel that all you can do is strive to support the people closest to you. How could you make room for a cause or passion outside of surviving in your own situation?

If you feel saturated and uncertain and feel as if everything is out of control in crazy times, try to channel a bit of Etta Wheeler in you. Think small and targeted with your energy and take small actions as you can.

The benefits of doing for others are multifold, and especially helpful in cases where everything seems beyond your reach. By focusing your attention on others and a cause, you can pivot from the anxiety of the unknown into a place where you can do something and make an impact.

The personal perks of giving your time and energies for others aren’t anything to sneeze at, either. Several are included in the article “7 Scientific Benefits of Helping Others” over at Metal Floss. For instance, when we act to help others, the sense of optimism and opportunity expand. And fear is displaced by purpose and connectivity.

I imagine that Etta Angell Wheeler was driven by her deep sense of purpose. She isn’t a well-known historical figure, but she made a significant contribution that changed Mary Ellen’s life, and ultimately changed circumstances for children in our society going forward. If we each think small, and pick one action for one cause, the waves will pick up.

For me, that one thing has been working with Team Mates the past few of years. Team Mates is a national organization that works to place one child and adult together for lunch once a week during the school year. I love this model because the commitment is small and attainable.

I’ve enjoyed getting to know my mentee these past years and watching her grow and change. I show up consistently, play games, and chat to catch up with how her life is going at school and encourage her positive efforts. I think of Etta often when I do my one thing and hope that I make a lasting impact.

How can you do one thing to help a cause you care about? And when you do so, how might that help end up creating good for others? You may never know how significant your one thing turns out to be, but even if it is help for one, that is enough.  

JOURNAL PROMPT:

What historical hero do you channel and why?

photo credit Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

#channelhistoryheroes #channelyourhistoryhero

Postscript: One comfort is a clean space. If you need help getting going on organizing your home check out Get Organized Gal’s courses for support.

I used her course to organize my office, and it is in pretty good shape these days. Success in one space has lead to cleaning channels to other rooms and photos as well. Check out he courses here.

Sherry and Alexandra Borzo together in Lima, Peru

Sherry is the founder of Storied Gifts a personal publishing service of family and company histories. She and her team help clients curate and craft their stories into books. When not writing or interviewing, Sherry spends loads of time with her grandchildren and lives in Des Moines, Iowa.

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